With Feeling by S. Ollsin
“Excessive sorrow laughs. Excessive joy weeps.” William Blake
I think a lot about emotions because in too many ways these days they are grievously undervalued. Feeling is often criticized as not fitting-in with the dubious spell of Western deductive thinking we’ve been so enthralled with for the last several hundred years. Logical thinking has been deemed more pragmatic, and therefore the better, more scientific and therefore reasonable choice. Well, I disagree (wholeheartedly I might add).
Logic certainly has its place, and a balance of thought and theory can help tremendously when one is grieving, but not until the requisite multitude of feelings are sufficiently felt and experienced. To me, feelings move us through big experiences in the most effective and transformational ways. There really is no other way to handle grief than to somehow find a way to go through it. Emotions connect us to powers that are seemingly stronger than we are, yet I truly have come to believe we are only given what we can bear. There are a number of great quotes from some reputable thinkers on this subject:
“Sorrow is a fruit; it does not grow on a branch that is too weak to bear it.” (adapted from Victor Hugo)
“While grief is fresh, every attempt to divert it only irritates.” Samuel Johnson
Some people try to avoid strong feelings at all cost because they are afraid that they will lose control and never return from their altered state. What happens then though, is that those same unheeded emotions inhabit and begin to wreck havoc in our bodies until things start to go wrong and we absolutely have to pay attention. Unacknowledged feeling can go bad in our relationships, work life, inner life and of course in countless disease processes in the body. I say it’s better to feel our feelings, acknowledge them for what they are and where they are trying to get us, express them, get as creative with them as possible, and attempt to allay them simply through letting them emerge and change us. There are safe and practical ways of doing so, and there are irrational and erratic ways of doing so – finding some place in the middle of these is usually the most preferable. That being said, sometimes dramatically purging our emotions can provide incredible relief! That’s why many cultures in China, India, Africa, North America and more hire professional mourners or wailers. These are emotionally expressive individuals who can pick up the role of mourner in a big way, to support the community in connecting with and then moving through their grief and sorrow.
People die. Let’s talk.
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